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- Effective Managing Up
First of all, huge thanks to everyone who's signed up for my revamped course on controlling communication overload. It’s honestly the best system I’ve built: whether you're drowning in Slack, emails, or meetings, it’ll help you take control. Quick PSA: you get 50% off the course just by referring 5 people to this newsletter. Easy win.
Now to today’s post, inspired by a question from a reader: “I would like to get your perspective/guidance around having effective 1:1s with our managers. I am specifically looking for a blueprint of topics to discuss, things to avoid to ensure I continue to earn their trust."
I got you! Let's talk about how to make 1:1s with your manager not just productive, but powerful.
Tip of the week: Your 1:1 is the only recurring meeting where you control the narrative. Use it to highlight impact, align priorities, and build trust over time.
THE THEORY
Your manager doesn’t see everything you do. Studies show managers often miss 30–40% of their team’s contributions. It’s not that they don’t care... it’s just that they’re overwhelmed. If you want your work to be recognized, it’s on you to manage up by communicating clearly and proactively.
1:1s are your best tool to manage up. Don’t wait for performance reviews to align. A strong 1:1 agenda (with structure) becomes your weekly highlight reel, status update, and strategic sync - all rolled into one. It helps your manager make better decisions and helps you earn trust over time.
Structure builds safety. While it’s tempting to keep things casual, a thoughtful agenda sends the message: “I’m prepared, I care, and I’m invested.” Marsden Kline teaches managers to ask powerful recurring questions, like “How are you doing?” or “What problems are you focused on solving?” Ideally, managers ask these. But let’s be real: not all of them do. That’s why it’s smart to come in ready to answer these proactively (even if no one asks).
The goal is to communicate clearly, not just to impress. You don’t need a list of wins every week; you need a clear read on what’s going well, what’s not, and where you need support. That kind of honesty builds psychological safety and signals that you're "easy to manage" (which is a good thing BTW!). Ultimately, you want to give your manager the confidence that you can “manage yourself.” That’s a critical trait if you're aiming to work with high-autonomy leaders (or report directly to someone like Mark Zuckerberg). It doesn’t mean you never have questions or blockers, it means you’ve mapped out the landscape and are approaching it with ownership.
MY PERSONAL THOUGHTS
You can borrow trust before you earn it. I posted this advice today: One of the smartest managing-up moves I’ve learned is to ask your manager: “Who’s the best direct report you’ve ever worked with?” Then, talk to that person. Not only will you get a crash course in what your manager values, you’ll also gain credibility by association. It’s the fastest way to understand their preferences, avoid rookie mistakes, and build trust faster. Most of us try to figure it out on our own over months. You can shortcut that in one conversation.
HOW TO PUT THIS INTO PRACTICE
If you want your manager to trust and support you, you need to own your 1:1s. Here’s how to:
Borrow trust early. Ask your manager who their best report was. Request an intro. Learn their blueprint.
Send an agenda. Share wins, blockers, and what’s top of mind. It shows you’re thoughtful and prepared.
Lead with themes. Focus on 1–3 priorities, not a task list. Signal > noise.
Name the friction. Surface what’s slowing you down. It builds trust and invites support.
Ask smart questions. Try: – “What should I do more of?” – “What does great look like to you?” – “Am I under-communicating anything?”
Follow up. If you asked for something - follow up! If you were asked to do something, bring an update. Consistency builds reliability.
Show growth. Every few weeks, share how you’re leveling up. It keeps the story moving forward.
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