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Given how many self-improvement books I’ve read, I’m often asked for recommendations. Classics like Getting Things Done, The Effective Executive, and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People are great, but recently, I wanted to suggest something less expected. I ended up recommending: The Third Door by Alex Banayan. This week, I’m sharing why it’s my new go-to.
Tip of the Week: Success rarely comes from following the traditional path. You need to find your own shortcut (i.e., your Third Door).
THE THEORY
The main idea is that success is like getting into a nightclub. There’s the First Door - the main entrance where most people wait in line, hoping their turn will come. The Second Door is reserved for VIPs. But there’s always a Third Door - a hidden entrance that requires creativity, persistence, and boldness to find. Banayan illustrates this concept through his adventures interviewing icons like Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Lady Gaga, Steven Spielberg, and Tony Hsieh (plus the unconventional methods he used to meet them).
Success starts with working backward from your goal. Banayan’s journey to become a contestant on The Price Is Right is a prime example, as he reverse-engineered the process. To win, he needed to stand out during the audience interview, so he studied past contestants (mimicking their energy, humor, and appearance). Arriving early, dressed to catch attention, he radiated enthusiasm and got picked. Winning a sailboat, he sold it for $20k to fund his quest for this book. Banayan later applied the same method at Warren Buffett’s annual shareholder meeting in Omaha, reverse-engineering how to position himself and his friends to ask multiple questions directly to Buffett.
Asking is often the biggest unlock. Another powerful insight comes from Banayan’s encounter with Tony Hsieh, the late founder of Zappos. [Side note: Hsieh's book Delivering Happiness is also great]. After spending an entire day shadowing Hsieh, people kept telling Banayan how lucky he was since Hsieh rarely allowed such access. When Banayan asked why he made an exception, Hsieh replied, “No one ever asks.” This highlights a key insight: most opportunities remain out of reach simply because we never ask. Whether it’s requesting mentorship, seeking advice, or pitching an idea, asking is often the first (and most important) step in finding your Third Door.
MY PERSONAL THOUGHTS
My key takeaway is this: You have more control over your success than you think - you just need to find the right entrance. Too often, we wait in line (i.e. work hard), hoping someone will notice us. But as Banayan’s journey shows, those who succeed are usually the ones who create their own opportunities. Most people never even try to find the Third Door, but by daring to think differently, you instantly give yourself an advantage.
Be prepared, understand the rules of the game you're playing, work backward from your goals, ask for what you want, and keep looking until you find that hidden entrance.
HOW TO PUT THIS INTO PRACTICE
Define Your Goal Clearly: Break your goal into actionable steps. Ask yourself, “If I had to reach this goal in 30 days, what would I do?”
Work Backward from Success: Study those who’ve succeeded in your field, identify the key steps they took, and map out how you can replicate or adapt them.
Ask for What You Want: Don’t wait for permission. Send that email, ask for the meeting, or pitch your idea - most people are more receptive than you think.
Prepare for Unexpected Opportunities: Continuously develop your skills, knowledge, and network so that when the right opportunity arises, you’re ready.
Think Outside the Box: If the traditional route is blocked, find an alternative. Approach challenges with creativity and persistence until you discover a path forward.
Stay Persistent: The Third Door might not open on your first try. Keep knocking, trying new angles, and refining your approach until you find a way in.
If you’ve been waiting in line, hoping someone will notice you, it’s time to start looking for your Third Door. And hey, if you ever end up on The Price Is Right, now you know what to do!
Jorge Luis Pando
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