Effectively Stuck

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Lately, a recurring theme in my coaching calls has been inaction. I meet incredibly accomplished people: sharp, successful, and full of potential. But with success comes more opportunities, and with opportunity comes decision paralysis. They talk about what they want, even dream about it, but rarely act. Their growing to-do lists bury their vast ambitions. We like to think that avoiding a decision keeps our options open, but in reality, we’re making a choice: a choice to delay, to stay put, to let circumstances decide for us.

Tip of the Week: Every time we put off a decision, we’re still making one - just not consciously. And often, that’s the worst kind. If there’s something you keep daydreaming about (e.g., learning guitar, moving abroad, starting a business), keep reading, this is your call to do something about it.

THE THEORY

Not deciding is deciding. Sartre said, “Man is condemned to be free,” meaning we’re always responsible for our choices (even the ones we refuse to make). The rock band Rush put it clearly in the song Freewill: “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” We assume inaction is neutral, but it’s not. It’s an active choice to maintain the status quo, often at the cost of missed opportunities.

The Paradox of Choice makes inaction tempting. Barry Schwartz’s research shows that too many options can overwhelm us into doing nothing. One popular study found that people given six jam flavors were ten times more likely to buy than those given twenty-four. More freedom doesn’t always mean better decisions, it often leads to no decision at all.

The Default Effect shapes our lives more than we realize. Studies show that when we don’t actively choose, we stick with the default - whether it’s staying in a job we’ve outgrown, living in a city we no longer love, or maintaining habits that no longer serve us. Companies exploit this: think about pricing plans where most people choose the “most popular” option, not because it’s best, but because it’s highlighted. The problem is that default choices aren’t always what we truly want.

MY PERSONAL THOUGHTS

For most of 2020 and 2021, my wife and I kept talking about leaving Seattle.“We should move somewhere closer to home,” we’d say - but nothing changed. Why? No urgency. No deadline. No external push. Seattle is great; we weren’t stuck, but by not deciding, we were actively choosing to stay.

What finally moved us? A small action and a commitment. The way out of inaction is intentional action. Even one small step can break the cycle. In our case, we visited two potential cities. Once we saw them as real options rather than distant fantasies, we set a move date. That date was arbitrary (it wouldn’t have mattered if we pushed it a month) but it created commitment. Everything else followed naturally (and super fast!), and luckily it worked out great.

HOW TO PUT THIS INTO PRACTICE

Here’s how to start making choices instead of letting them be made for you:

1. Identify where you’re avoiding decisions. What’s something you keep talking about but never act on?

2. Make it concrete. Write down your options and what’s stopping you from choosing.

3. Take one small step today. Research, book an appointment, block time in your calendar - momentum matters.

4. Commit to something tangible. Sign up for a class, book a ticket, set a deadline. Make your goal real.

5. Reduce the pressure. You don’t need the perfect choice. Any action is better than none.

Most regrets aren’t about the choices we made, they’re about the ones we never made. I hope this pushes you to take action. I know I am.

"Life is a matter of choices,"

Jorge Luis Pando